Italy Learns to Shoot
by CrazyLittleGermanMiss
Summary: Germany teaches Italy how to shoot a gun. Crack. Character death (You probably can't guess who) Its really weird. I can't believe I wrote this... READ IT AND REVIEW IT AND LOVE IT AND HUG IT AND...AND...STUFF! Please?


**No clue how this happened. It just kinda did. I wrote this with a friend of mine. We just watched all of season one in one night, so yeah, our brains are fried. Enjoy. Any OOCness is intentional…**

It was a time of war. Every evening, Germany would go to sleep exhausted and beat up. This made Italy sad, so he decided to help. He ran all throughout Southern Europe, (not so) inconspicuously stealing bed sheets. He cut down all of his forests. Using these materials, he constructed the world's largest white flag. This succeeded in in pissing Germany off greatly. And so, Germany decided that it was high time that Italy learned how to do something useful, like shoot a gun.

Germany set up a makeshift shooting range in their little campsite. He dragged Italy towards it, and positioned him in front of one of the targets. Germany then handed Italy a gun.

"Oh are we going to play Black Ops for real?" Italy asked. Germany gave him an odd look, but otherwise ignored the comment.

"I am going to teach you how to shoot a gun," Germany said. "First things first, you're going to have to-"

"-put the safety on? We gotta make sure we are super safe!" Stated Italy, interrupting Germany.

"No, dummkopf! Safety keeps the gun from shooting. You can't practice with a gun that doesn't shoot!"

"Oh, ok…so what do we do?" For the next several minutes, Germany explained the basics of how to shoot a gun. Italy stood and listened, a typical Italy-happy smile on his face.

Meanwhile, Britain was having fun spying on their little training session from behind with his best little bud, the one and only, Flying Mint Bunny.

"Germany is such an idiot! Trying to teach Italy how to shoot a gun? It's like he has a death wish or something!" He was so busy laughing, that he didn't notice when Italy began his first shot. He pulled the trigger and the bullet raced out of the tip of the gun, heading straight towards the bushes where Britain was hiding, heading straight towards him. Time seemed to slow down as the bullet made its way over. At the last moment, something small, furry and green leapt in front of him, blocking the bullet. A look of complete horror crossed Britain's face as he saw poor little Flying Mint Bunny lying there in a pool of his own blood.

"I…I did it for you…Britain. Because…I love you…" And with that said, flying mint bunny took his final breath and entered his eternal rest.

"NO! Flying Mint Bunny! Come back please!" Britain cried, hugging the small, blood-covered mythical creature to his chest, "COME BACK!"

'HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO HIT SOMETHING BEHIND YOU!?" Germany yelled at Italy.

"I'm just boss like that!" said Italy, same stupid smile on his face as ever. That's when Britain stepped out of the bushes, murder in his eyes.

"'Sup, Italy," he said in a scary even tone.

"Hi, Britain. What are you up to?" Asked Italy.

"You killed Flying Mint Bunny. And now I AM GOING TO BLOODY KILL YOU!" Italy screamed in terror.

"GERMANY! GERMNAY!" Germany took a step back. Italy looked at him in shock.

"Germany?" He pulled something out of his pocket, turned towards Britain, and began waving it around frantically.

"White flag, white flag! WHY ARE YOU STILL WALKING!? WHITE FLAG, SEE, WHITE FLAG!" Britain then proceeded to hit Italy so hard that he became a stick figure and earth became a circle. Italy flew through space for several minutes before landing on the bridge window of the starship Enterprise like a bug on a windshield.

"What is this mystical creature of animation before us?" Spock asked calmly. Everyone else just shrugged.

"Do you have any pasta?" said the most obvious person to say that in this circumstance. And so the crew sent him back to Earth in a small postal box. When Germany walked out of his tent the next morning, he was greeted by the squirming package. "Welcome back Italy," he said, rolling his eyes.

Prussia woke up that morning very suddenly and very confused. Picking up his cell phone, he called Germany's number. The dial tone sounded a couple of times before he picked up.

"Bruder, why are you calling me? You live in my basement."

"Because, West, the awesome me doesn't feel like getting up. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that maybe you should teach Italy something useful like shooting a gun. And get it on video or something so the awesomeness that is myself can watch without actually putting myself in danger."

"Ok….Is that it?" asked Germany.

"Ja….oh wait! Can you have Canada give me more maple syrup so I can have pancakes, ok?

"Who's Can-" Germany started, but before he could finish, Prussia hung up the phone and went back to sleep.

**Weird right? In case you didn't gather, Prussia was having a very weird dream. Like it, love it, hate it? Let me know! PLEASE REVIEW! And I am working on another fic for Hetalia currently, starring the one and only Prussia! But it won't be crackish, it will actually make since. And it might be PruCan.**

**CORRECTION: It will be :)**

**Translations**

**Dummkopf-Idiot, blockhead_literal translation=stupid head~German**

**Bruder-brother~German**

**Ja-yes~German**


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